


run, run away from the boys in the blue

by wrongtree



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Car Sex, Frottage, M/M, gives a whole other meaning to "fuck the police"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 05:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrongtree/pseuds/wrongtree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“You let a criminal go because you want to fuck me?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>or, Nick's a Not Really That Conscious Of The Law At All For An Officer police officer and Louis is just a lad that needs a ride home.</p><p>based off of this post: <a href="http://tomlinshawty.tumblr.com/post/77679948373/suspnd-suspnd-suspnd-my-best-friend-just">http://tomlinshawty.tumblr.com/post/77679948373/suspnd-suspnd-suspnd-my-best-friend-just</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	run, run away from the boys in the blue

**Author's Note:**

> i know nothing about british law, so some of the codes and policies might be completely off, i googled to the best of my abilities! 
> 
> thanks a million, as always, to [Alicia](http://neonenjoysign.tumblr.com/) who encouraged me and let me bounce ideas off her, and to [Steph](http://oneteenidle.tumblr.com/) who read it over, too.

_ "There are no more buses scheduled to depart." _

Louis angrily presses the end call button on his phone and shoves it back into the pocket of his dirty work trousers.

It had been a busy night at the bar, busier than usual for a Thursday night, so cleaning up took about twice as long which caused him to miss the final bus out of town. Unfortunately, he can’t call a taxi either, they went on strike last week; something about being tired of picking up incoherent drunks and not getting paid enough for it. Louis thinks they're a bunch of babies. He deals with incoherent drunk people all the time and _definitely_ doesn't get paid enough, but he doesn't complain (to anyone other than his roommate, Harry).

That's another option Louis doesn't have; Harry's his only mate who can drive but he has an early shift at the bakery and has to be up in 3 hours, Louis doesn't have the heart to call and wake him just to ask to pick his sorry arse up.

He leans against the locked door of the bar and sighs, wrapping his jean jacket tighter around his body as a breeze blows through. Louis has one option left, and he’s pretty sure it’ll land him in jail, but he can’t think of anything else and doesn’t fancy a two hour walk home in the cooling October night.

Pulling his phone back out from his pocket, Louis dials the only number he's known longer than his own.

"999, how can we direct your call?"

"Uh, hi, this isn't technically an emergency, other than the fact that I _could_ be attacked if I wait outside any longer, but uh, I'm kind of stranded? On the street?" Louis wonders if phrasing it as a question will make the cops more likely to help him, he isn’t hopeful.

"Mate, you should've called the non-emergency line." says a gruff voice on the phone.

"Is that a thing?"

"Yeah, they handle the boring shit-er, stuff, that we’re, uh, far too important for. I'm fairly certain this is an offence, wasting precious police time, or sommat."

"That sounds official," Louis says with heavy sarcasm on his tongue. "Listen, mate, it's like half three in the morning, I just got off work, there're no more buses, I'm calling because I'm in desperate need of a drive home and I couldn't think of anyone else to call."

"Calm down, sweetheart, I don't want to do the paperwork that comes along with writing you up anymore than you wanna be dragged down here. I'm also off duty in ten minutes, so I’ll pick you up, just tell me where you are,"

Louis heaves a sigh of relief and rattles off the address of the bar and then for his flat, "You're in luck, I live a few blocks from there," the officer tells him. Once he hangs up, Louis crouches onto the ground under the flickering lights of the bar sign and pockets his phone again.

\---

Louis is just stamping out the butt of his fag when a police car rolls to a stop in front of him. A very tall head of hair pops up from the drivers side, “Oi, you the kid that called?”

Louis gives the officer an unimpressed look, “D’you see anyone else here?”

The man ducks his head back into the car and opens the passenger door for Louis, “To be honest, pal, you look like you work this street corner.”

He looks too young to be a police official. He’s got a messy quiff and a lot of stubble but is wearing a worn t-shirt, a leather jacket, and really tight pants, “Are you sure you’re old enough to be on the force?” Louis asks as he flips the cop off and climbs into the the car, stuffing his ratty rucksack under his feet, “and I mean, I work _around_ the corner, but not _on_ it. Are you supposed to say those things to a civilian?”

The officer just shrugs and pulls away from the curb, “Probably not, but I don’t think I’m supposed to pick them and drive them home, either. But thank you for the age compliment, darling.” He drives through a red light and then reaches his hand across the console, “m’Nick.”

“Two hands on the wheel, _officer_.” Louis says before grabbing his hand anyway, “Louis.” Nick has really long fingers and big hands, Louis stalls a bit before letting go.

“So, Louis, why are you stranded on a sidewalk in the wee hours of the morning? Only heathens and drag queens are out at this hour."

“Know a lot about that, do you?” Louis retorts, defiantly.

He doesn’t get a response from Nick, just a mouth twitch as he runs his fingers through his already messy hair.

“Told you, mate, my shift ended and I missed the last bus and my roommate’s the only one with a car but he’s asleep and has an early morning so I didn’t want to wake him.”

Nick nods, “and the bloody taxis are on strike. You wouldn’t believe the trouble that’s caused. More DUI’s than we’ve seen in a decade.”

“Sucks for us, too. As bartenders we’re like, mildly responsible for our patrons and it’s hard as fuck to tell them to go home when we know they’re gonna get in their posh cars and be stupid about it.”

“It’s all YOUR FAULT!” Nick gasps, mock offended.

“Oh, piss off, at least we can kind of control their intake, send them on their way before they’re too off their faces.”

Nick hums, “Look at you, Mr. Responsible. Shouldn’t you be the one out getting wasted instead of watching everyone else have all the fun?”

“Get enough offers working behind the bar actually, love. And I get paid for it.” Louis is kind of in awe of Nick, he isn’t what Louis expected a cop to be.

“Kind of do work the corner then, don’t you?” Nick looks over at Louis and winks, chuckling to himself. Louis punches his shoulder.

Their conversation dwindles and Louis starts getting antsy, he’s only been in a cop car once, but he was in the back and had his face tucked under Harry’s armpit for most of it. They hadn’t done anything illegal, but Harry’s friends with a lot of people and the officer asked if they wanted a ride. It’s where Louis got the idea for getting home. So, he’s been in a cruiser before but never in the front, there’s a lot to look at. He notices Nick’s identification badge on the roof first, “Constable N. P. Grimshaw”, next to a picture of Nick with a bunch of people on a little dinghy boat, seemingly on holiday.

On the dashboard there are lots of flashy lights and speakers and buttons that Louis probably shouldn’t touch, so he decides to fiddle with the radio, the one thing he knows how to work. He just flicks it on when Nick’s hand swats his away.

“You’re not supposed to touch that, nosey.” He’s grinning through the scold.

Louis raises an eyebrow, “it’s just a radio?”

_kzzrrt-- We’ve got a 1968-9. Any local officers are asked to report to the following address:_

Nick has the radio comm picked up before they’re finished citing the street name, “Hiya, Constable Grimshaw, I’m off duty as of fifteen minutes ago but I’m in the area, do you want me to check it out?” He waits for what Louis assumes is a response and then puts the receiver back onto the dashboard, “That’s why you’re not supposed to touch it. It’s not a regular radio.”

“What’s that number?”

“A burglary, a B&E probably.”

“Breaking and entering?” Louis asks; Harry’s studying law, he listens to him drone on about it every once in a while.

“Yup.” Nick says as he turns down a random side street.

“Holy shit! Are we arresting someone?” he sits up excitedly.

“ _We_ are not doing anything. _You_ are staying in the car, _I_ am investigating.” Nick barely slows down at the stop sign before driving through the deserted intersection.

Louis huffs and crosses his arms, if he’s going to be treated like a child he’s going to act like one.

Nick looks over at him and lets out a loud, cheerful cackle, “Here, princess, flick this switch. It starts the siren.”

Louis’ mood brightens immediately, it doesn’t matter what age one is, one should always be excited to turn on police car sirens.

Conversation is impossible as they wail down the streets but Louis doesn’t mind. He likes the way the lights reflect back onto Nick’s face and how determined he looks, even if the siren is starting to settle in the middle of his brain, just reverberating through his head.

Not long later, Nick kills the siren (but leaves on the lights) as they pull up in front of a sad looking house. Louis doesn’t understand why anyone would try to break into it, it looks like it’s in worse shape than his flat; which is a used matchbox at the best of times.

“Nick, you don’t look like an officer. You look like a regular bloke with a police car, is this person going to put up a fight?” Louis inquires.

“‘ve got a badge,” Nick says as he pulls it from the visor. “Not even sure if anyone’s still here, dispatch just wanted someone to check it out, they got an anonymous call about it ‘bout half an hour ago.” He gets out of the car and goes to close the door but stops and leans back in, “Stay.” He points a finger at Louis.

Louis’ buzzing with too much energy to even contemplate getting out of the cruiser. He’d probably assist the criminal if he moved, too high on adrenaline to do much else. He was dead on his feet at the end of his shift but now he’s caught his second wind. He’s also turned on. Nick’s kind of hot in a weird, devil-may-care kind of way. He doesn’t speak like a professional at all, what with the swearing and joking around, but Louis watches his persona change as he squares his shoulders and walks up to the house, all business. Louis’ never been one for rules and he kind of wants Nick to tell him he’s been a bad boy. Also, his hands are ridiculous, Louis’ fairly certain they’re at least twice the size of his own and he wants compare their size to other parts of his body.

Louis watches as Nick coaxes a cowering figure out from the shadows of the porch. He leans over and seems to be talking to a kid who wipes at his eyes a lot and curls into himself. Nick pats the kid down and then holds his hands behind his back with one hand, leading the kid to the car with his other hand on his neck. Louis feels his cheeks flush, definitely turned on, then.

“I’m really s-sorry!” the kid blubbers as Nick puts him in the backseat.

“s’Okay, kid, we’re just gonna go for a little drive.” There’s a calm but assertive tone in his voice.

“I didn’t mean to d-do anything! My-my friends told me to meet them there. I d-didn’t know.” he starts sobbing again.

“You need new friends, mate. You’re underage, yeah?” Nick asks.

“Ye-yes, sir. I’m fourteen.” the kid wipes his eyes and whimpers.

“The most that’s going to happen is someone at the station will call your parents and you might get a little fine. But you’re just a kid and you’re clearly torn up about it, so don’t worry, no scary jail cells for you. Just a little chatty chatty with your folks and it’ll be alright.”

The kid slumps against the seat but nods anyway, resting his head against the cold window.

“Are _you_ , alright?” Nick asks, turning to look at Louis, who’s been silent the whole time.

“Me? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m good.” He tries to subtly adjust his pants but watches Nick’s eyes follow his action.

Nick is grinning as he puts the car in drive again. “Was that _hard_ to watch? Not even a real crime, darling. Wonder how excited you’d be to see one of those go down...”

“Dunno, it was kind of hot to watch you bring this one in,” Louis points his thumb at the kid staring blankly out the window. “All assertive and handsy. You ever use these?” Louis asks, grabbing the handcuffs that are sitting in the center console.

Nick smirks, “On duty or in bed?”

“On duty, I assume you’ve got fuzzy pink ones tucked away somewhere.” Louis says, spinning the cuffs around on a finger.

“No need to tuck them away when they’re used so often.”

Louis laughs and the handcuffs fly off his finger, hitting Nick in the chest before bouncing onto the floor.

“Oh fuck! Sorry!” Louis immediately reaches over to pick them up, and ends up with a face full of Nick’s crotch. He grabs the cuffs and slowly blinks up at Nick,

“Where did you say you lived, kid?” Nick asks, not taking his eyes off Louis. Which is probably unsafe seeing as he’s still driving but Louis doesn’t want to bring it up. Nick’s eyes are dark as Louis sits back in his seat, his left hand keeps twitching like he wants to reach for Louis but isn’t quite sure if he’s allowed.

“I, uh, didn’t. But we just passed it.”

Nick slams on the brakes and everyone in the car jolts forward. He throws open his door and steps out to unlatch the back one, “go home, kid” he says as the boy scrambles out. Nick pats him on the shoulder and then shoves him gently down the sidewalk. He’s barely in the car before he’s driving off again, going far too fast for the neighbourhood they’re in.

“Uh, was that legal?” Louis asks, “why’d you let him go?”

Nick waves it off, “I’ll just tell dispatch that no one was there when I arrived, no damage was done, it’s fine. Also, I let him go because you’re driving me fucking insane and I need to get my hands on you like 20 minutes ago.”

“You let a criminal go because you want to fuck me?” Louis is just as appalled as he is turned on.

“Have you _seen_ you, love?” Nick gives him a pointed look.

They’re not driving for long before Nick pulls into an abandoned parking lot, “This is an abandoned parking lot.” Louis points out.

“Yup. And that’s the abandoned backseat of my cruiser, get a move on.”

Louis smirks and unbuckles while Nick rolls the partition glass down so they can clamber over the plastic. Nick has giraffe limbs and no coordination so he gets his foot caught in his headrest and smacks his forehead off Louis’ knee, who laughs so hard he bumps the top of his head into the roof. They bumble about like animals on new legs but eventually get themselves situated and before he knows it, Louis’ sprawled out on the back seat with Nick leaning over him.

“I’m kind of glad I missed that last bus,” Louis says, toying with the necklaces dangling on Nick’s chest.

“Kind of like an elaborate booty call, innit?” Nick says, shifting them a bit so he cages Louis in more.

“Your knee’s on my balls.”

“Your tongue’s in my mouth,”

“It’s--” Louis’ cut off by Nick leaning down and kissing him, there’s no gentleness or timidness to it at all, just a lot of heat and spit.

Louis’ quick to part his lips and let Nick suck on his tongue a bit, moaning into his mouth and making Nick’s statement true.

“Imagine how much hotter this would be if you were in uniform.” Louis muses when they stop to take a breath.

“Imagine how much hotter this would be if you were naked,” Nick retorts, leaning back a bit to rake his eyes down Louis’ body.

Louis blinks at Nick and raises his arms, “Frisk me, officer.”

Nick mumbles under his breath, sounding suspiciously like “jesus fu-”, and surges forward to kiss Louis again while he works at pulling Louis’ jacket off his shoulders. They don’t have to break the kiss for that, moving in tandem until Nick drapes it carelessly over the partition, but Louis gasps when he feels Nick’s deft fingers trace where the bottom of his t-shirt meets the waistline of his pants.

“Off,” Louis mutters.

Nick shuffles his knees back a bit and leans down to nip at Louis’ navel, sucking marks into his hip as he undoes the button of his trousers, “This alright, love?” Nick asks into the junction of Louis’ hip.

“Just take it off, Nick.” he grumbles as he lifts his hips to take them off himself. Nick laughs and tries to pull the leg of Louis’ jeans off over his shoes but his hand slips and he ends up whacking himself in the face.

“Idiot,” Louis laughs and kicks off his shoes as Nick groans and tries to get out of his jacket.

In the confined space of the car Nick can’t get his jacket off properly and he ends up trapped in it. He looks at Louis with pleading eyes and whimpers a bit, trying to get free, elbow stuck awkwardly in his sleeve.

"Remind me again how you got a job working as an intimidating authority figure?" Louis asks, helping tug on the sleeve of Nick's jacket to get him untangled.

Nick's serious when he answers, "it's a long story, and I have other things I'd rather do with my mouth."

Louis bites his bottom lip and wiggles out of his trousers as Nick finally pulls his coat off.

Legs get stuck and heads get bumped and Nick draws a quick breath when Louis' foot brushes against his semi-hard cock, but eventually the trousers and jackets are off and they’re staring at each other like they don't know where to touch first.

Louis reaches for Nick just as he says, "Wanna suck you off."

Louis hums, "Well get on with it then, copper."

Nick leans forward and kisses Louis as he wriggles his pants down his legs, breathing each other in as Louis' cock is freed against his hip.

He sucks Louis' tongue into his mouth once more before scooting back so they can both watch his hand wrap around Louis. It's A Sight and Louis' dick twitches at it; Nick's fingers easily wrap around the head, pulling the foreskin back as he slides his hand down to the base.

"Fuck," Nick says as he pumps Louis a few times. "Even your cock is pretty."

"Should see my mate Harry's." Louis says without thinking. Nick gives him a funny look, "Not like that! Just, he's nude a lot? Something about societal oppression, it's his own form of protest to 'run free' in his home... Even though it's a shared flat."

"I think we'd get along,” Nick smirks, “man of the Law and a hippie, nude kid."

"Honestly though, I think you would."

"That's lovely, now if you don't mind, I'd like to get along with sucking your cock."

Louis lifts his hips up toward him as an invitation.

Nick leans forward and licks teasingly at the precum on his slit before sucking Louis down in one go. Louis arches his back, trying to get impossibly further into the wet heat of Nick’s mouth when he feels Nick’s throat constrict around the head of his cock as he gags a bit.

“Holy fuck,”

Nick pulls off slowly, a line of spit connecting from his lips to Louis’ dick, “They don’t call me ‘ _Saint_ Nicholas’ for nothing.”

Louis scoffs, “No one calls you ‘Saint Nicholas’, that’s stupid,” and pushes Nick’s head back down.

It’s really sloppy and wet but Nick’s good at sucking dick, his throat accommodates easily to Louis’ overeager hip thrusts and he gives the right amount of pressure where Louis likes it, fingers wrapped lightly around the base of Louis’ cock. He’s quick with his tongue in the same way he is with spoken words, curling it under the frenulum when he sucks on just the head.

It’s not long before Louis feels close, the familiar coil of pleasure unfurling behind his navel, a shiver runs down his spine and before he even says anything, Nick sits up, pulling off with a pop.

“Nick--why, shit.” Louis stretches his back out and closes his eyes, trying to control his breathing as the heat in his stomach slowly diminishes.

“Want you in my lap, c’mon.” Nick sits back against the seat and peels his jeans down just enough to get his dick out, tugging on it as Louis climbs onto him.

“Shit,” is all Louis can say when he gets a good look at Nick’s cock. It’s long and curved a bit, angry red at the top. Louis settles his knees on either side of Nick’s hips, resting his bum on Nick’s clothed thighs where he has his ridiculously long spider legs tucked up against the seat.

“C’mon, love.” Nick whispers into Louis’ ear.

His face is tucked into Nick’s neck and he licks along his jaw, pulling aside his t-shirt to bite at his collarbones too.

Nick uses the leverage of his legs to push Louis forward, two big hands splayed across each arsecheek, pulling him closer into his body.

The way Louis is sitting, he has the perfect vantage point to see how their dicks rub together when he thrusts his hips, gasping when Nick’s cock head catches under his own. Louis licks his palm and sneaks a hand between their bodies to grab their dicks together, his small hand doesn’t quite close around the two of them.

“Oh, fuck, Lou.” Nick breathes out, head thrown back against the seat. One of his palms kneads Louis’ ass while the other moves up to Louis’ waist.

“Can’t believe we’re doing this in your cruiser,” Louis huffs out. “I just wanted a ride home.”

“You kind of got one,” Nick points out. Louis tightens his grip on their dicks in retaliation. It’s effective in making Nick moan and push himself into Louis’ grasp more.

“Are you close?” Louis asks, grinding down hard when he feels Nick’s fingers trace the crack of his arse.

“Yeah, love.” He moves his hand up from Louis’ waist to tangle his fingers in Louis’ long hair, tugging at it a bit.

Louis groans and falls against Nick’s chest. He pants into Nick’s shoulder and bites at the mark he’d left there earlier.

Nick tenses up below him and Louis feels his dick twitch as Nick starts to come in his hand. “Oh, fuuuuuuck.” the guttural groan sounds like it’s being ripped from him.

Louis strokes him through it, until he slumps back against the seat and starts chuckling. “Louis,” Nick says as he presses a dry finger between Louis’ cheeks and against his hole.

That’s all it takes for Louis to lose it, spilling over his fingers and Nick’s softening dick.

Nick shifts them around as Louis comes down from his high, pliant and content to be pushed back onto the seat while Nick grabs a fag and a lighter from Louis’ jacket pocket.

“Oi!” Louis protests.

“Hush, love.” Nick says as he takes a drag, looking very blissed out even with his cock still hanging out of his trousers and a bit of come on his t-shirt where Louis rubbed against him. When he exhales, Louis takes it from him and breathes some of the chemicals into his lungs too.

Louis passes the fag back to Nick and says, “We should try those handcuffs next time.”

“Next time?” Nick quirks an eyebrow before taking another puff.

Louis just sits up and kisses the smoke from Nick’s mouth as a response.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> there are like three different puns i left out, [{tumblr}](http://www.carswinky.tumblr.com)
> 
> [now with ridiculous porny sequel](http://wrongtree.tumblr.com/post/101219381582/holla-in-ya-hoods-screamin-fuck-the-police)


End file.
